Do I Still Love My Ex

Emotions are quite difficult for many people to understand.  This is because many emotions and feelings are very personal issues, ones which are not often discussed.  So, it is easy to see how a great number of people can be confused about their feelings for their exes.  In fact, it is not unusual for someone to wonder, “Do I still love my ex?”–even for months or years after the relationship has ended.

Figuring out your feelings for your ex can help you to move on to new and more successful relationships.  Any unresolved emotions dealing with your ex could actually impact your future relationships–and not in a good way.  Once you figure out whether or not you still love your ex, you will be able to deal with the issue and then move on from there.

How can you determine what your feelings are for your ex?  Take a look at the following questions and think about your answers.  Your answers will tell you what you feel for your ex.

• Do you feel a strong desire to see your ex?

If you still love your ex, you likely want to see your ex or talk to your ex on the phone quite often.  Perhaps you have called your ex’s voice mail just to hear his or her voice, or maybe you have driven by your ex’s house or place of work in hopes of seeing him or her outside.  Or, you may have “accidentally” bumped into your ex at a restaurant or bar.  

• How often do you think about your ex?

If you still love your ex, chances are he or she is on your mind constantly.  Whenever a love song comes on the radio or whenever you happen to see a romantic scene on the television or in the movies, you immediately think of your ex.  When something interesting or upsetting happens in your life, the first person you think to call is your ex.

• How does it feel to think about your ex being with someone else?

If you are still in love with your ex, the thought of him or her being with someone else probably makes you feel very jealous.  The very idea of it might make you feel sick inside, or it may make you feel angry at the other person.  You may even feel possessive, as if the other person is on your turf, stealing ‘your’ ex.

Have you figured out how you feel about your ex?  Did you decide that yes, I still love my ex?  It wouldn’t be surprising–most people who wonder about their feelings for their exes do still have some strings attached which need to be addressed.

You need to make a decision–do you want to get back together with your ex or do you want to get over your ex?  Think about this carefully, and then do a search for more information on whichever option you choose.    

Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together

If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself.  You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won’t wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place.  It’s always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times.  It’s important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.  

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn’t a healthy relationship.  If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them.  If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren’t abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn’t a good idea.  If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you’re going to do more harm than good.  They will see this as a sign of desperation.  This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don’t argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It’s easy when you and your mind are all alone.  Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done.  Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why.  Now, you’re probably beating yourself up over them.  You probably wish you had never done those things.  The past is the past.  This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over.  You can’t go back in time, though you probably wish you could.  Concentrate on what is going on now.  The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them.  Make promises how you’ll change, etc…This won’t help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you’ll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one.  You’ll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you’re allowing them to think about you and miss you.  You’ll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

Are You In The Right Relationship

How can you tell if you’re in the right relationship? Have you made a mistake by getting back together with this person, only you can’t see it yet? Sometimes during a break up the only thing you want is the other person. But once you’re back together you question if you’re in the right relationship.

There’s no foolproof way to determine if this person is the right one for you. The only thing you can figure out if you’re in the right relationship at the time. Things can change, but for right now you can look around and see if this is the right place to be.

You have to ask yourself several questions to figure out if this relationship is right for you today. Start with, are you happy? You won’t be skipping and picking flowers every second, of course, but in general you should feel happy to be with that person.

You may have a doubt now and then or a bad feeling, but if your feelings toward the person and the relationship are mostly positive, then you could be in a great relationship. Don’t let the odd doubt or strange feeling make you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.

When you do feel doubt or feel sad, why do you? Is it because you’re wondering about a specific other person and thinking that you might be with them instead? Or are they just general thoughts about the possibilities you might be missing if you weren’t in this relationship?

Everyone thinks things like that from time to time. But if you’re preoccupied by “what ifs” and “if only” thoughts, you might not be in the right relationship after all.

Do you feel safe in the relationship? This applies to feeling physically safe, as in your partner would never hit or abuse you. And it also applies to feeling emotionally safe. You feel that they would not want to hurt you for the world.

Do you feel safe from the threat of a break up? Or do you worry about your partner cheating often? If you spend a lot of your time in the relationship wondering if the other person is capable of cheating, then you might not be with the right person.

If you think the person is cheating, then you’re spending a lot of time being suspicious and questioning his or her motives. That’s no way to spend your days. You need to figure out if your doubts are reasonable.

Would that person actually cheat or do you think those things from your own insecurities? If you really don’t trust the other person, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. That will only serve to make you miserable and suspicious, and can end badly for both of you.

Do you feel special? If you feel like you’re constantly fighting for the other person’s attention and affection, you might look for someone else. You should feel like the person most important to them if you’re in the right relationship.

Many women at one time or another have said of a fading romantic relationship, “If I could only make him love me again, I would be so happy.” It truly would be great if you had that power over him, but in fact nobody does. The heart is a territory unto itself.

While you cannot directly change the feelings he has for you, there are ways to fan the flame of your love. If your relationship has been losing its glow and you fear he may be falling out of love, there is hope. You are a woman who obviously cares enough about your relationship to be reading this. If he does still have feelings for you, you can get him to adore you again.

Here are 4 strategies for getting his love back:

Strategy #1: Surprise him: All men love surprises. Try doing something special for him to let him know you were thinking about him. Your man may need that kind of special reassurance that you still really do care, especially if you have been too busy lately to give him the kind of attention you did when you first got together.

Strategy #2: Show him your own independence: Men do love to be showered with attention, but they are usually turned off by women who seem too clingy. Remember to show him once in a while that you are and always will be a whole person, with or without him. Take a class, learn how to play an instrument, or try something new with your hair. The key here is to do it on your own without running it by him for his approval ahead of time.

Strategy #3: Find out what works: As you have probably noticed, there is now a treasure trove of popular literature available on the psychology of love that explains precisely how men and women think differently. It is just a fact that the sexes are different in certain fundamental ways, and unfortunately none of us is born with innate knowledge about how to deal with the opposite sex: it has to be learned. Do yourself a favor and find out what the experts say about how to please a man and how he can best please you. Educate yourself and you will be much better prepared to know what makes his head – and heart – tick.

Strategy #4: Demand he treat you right: If you are in a situation where your guy is abusive in any way, best leave him right away with no questions asked. You deserve better, I promise you. But, if you are like most women, your man may just fail to treat you right in more subtle ways: not listening, making the occasional disrespectful comment, or not calling first when he is coming home late. If you want your man to adore you again, you first need to earn back his respect. The next time he acts in a discourteous manner, call him on it and let him know you expect to be treated with respect and love and that you will settle for nothing less. No need to corner him or make him feel defensive: just lay down the law with him and see where he stands.

The pathways of the heart are surely difficult terrain to navigate. While you cannot make your man love you if that love is gone, there are proven ways to fan the flame of his love if it has dwindled of late. Do yourself a favor and give your relationship the attention it deserves. Then, whether the relationship is for forever or is doomed to end soon, at least you will know and either way and get on with your life.

Maybe she was your wife, maybe she was your girlfriend: either way, the two of you were in love and now it is long-since over. Cheer up, though. Stories abound about couples getting back together successfully even months or years later. Here are 5 ways to rekindling the romance.

Step #1: Look for signs that she still loves you:

Does she act nervous when you run into her accidentally? Does she show up at your old hangouts? Has she had trouble getting serious with other men, or has she chosen to date a guy that is really not her type? She may be still holding a torch for you.

Step #2: Talk with a mutual friend:

Ask a mutual friend what they think, but be sure it is someone you can trust. Find out whether your ex still talks about or asks about you. Ask your friend if he or she can envision the two of you getting back together.

Step #3: Ask if she will meet you for lunch:

If you are convinced she still loves you, ask her to lunch. If she tells you she cannot because she is currently seeing someone else, ask her for just coffee then. The key here is to see her in person and to really look into her eyes: it is then you will know how she really feels. If you can tell she is really still interested in you, ask her for a date.

Step #4: Take her somewhere nice:

Afraid of setting too high of an expectation by taking her somewhere nice? Don’t be, or you might as well call it quits now. You need to show her that she is the only one for you and that you are willing to treat her right. Show her you really care enough to take her somewhere nice.

Step #5: Share how you really feel:

On your date, keep the talk light. But, at some point you do need to share with her how you really feel about her. Let her know that she is still the love of your life and tell her that you believe it could work again. You will need to do a little bit of risking her if you hope for something to come out of this.

If the signs are there that she still wants you and if you feel the same way, it may require some work to make it happen. But, why wait? It may be that rekindling an old flame can be the best possible thing for you.

Think your love has what it takes? Try this 10-question, free love compatibility test to find out. This test is valid for all romantic love relationships:

1. Are you mutually accepting of any differences between you in terms of your views on life?

Given the billions of people on Earth, it is easy to understand why there are countless variations among us. Even between two people who speak the same language and share the same culture, the differences can be huge. The values, beliefs, and general outlooks on life between any two people likely differ greatly. For love to last, it is important that the two of you can “agree to disagree” on those items where you differ in terms of values, belief, and opinion.

2. Is he or she willing to make compromises in order to keep you feeling happy?

As the old adage goes, life is full of compromises. And you know what: so is love! You know you have found true love when the person you are with is willing to give up something that they love (or want to do) – or to do something they don’t want to do – just to please you. If you have found that quality in a mate, you are lucky indeed!

3. Does he or she often do nice things for you, such as giving you a surprise gift or card?

With modern life having become so routine for most of us, surprises are the spice of life in a love relationship. Receiving or giving a little surprise to the one we love keeps daily life interesting. And, planning a surprise requires effort, focus and patience. If your lover gives you surprises often enough to meet your satisfaction, mark this one a “yes” and move on. If not, mark “no.”

4. Does your love interest compliment or praise you often?

Real love requires a feeling not only of physical attraction, but also one of respect. If your lover respects you, you will find him or her giving you compliments or singing your praises fairly often. If they do this, it is a very good sign that a deeper love is present between you.

5. Does he or she often touch you while you talk together?

Physical affection is an important part of any lasting relationship. People like to be reminded of the romantic love they share by the occasional caress or touch from their mate. These touches do not need to be sexual in nature – they can even appear innocent and platonic to other observers. The point is: frequent touching signifies attraction, and attraction is a cornerstone in the foundation of a lasting relationship.

6. Have you hugged or kissed each other at least once during the most recent two times you were together?

Hugging and kissing are another way of expressing romantic love and attraction. In most cultures, frequent physical hugging and kissing signify that the flame of love is lit and burning strong.

7. Can you imagine yourself spending your entire life with him or her?

Close your eyes and imagine  your life in 5 or 10 years. Is it almost impossible to picture yourself in your mind’s eye as a happy person even if you were no longer with your lover at that time? If so, a deeper part of you probably intends to be with him or her forever.

8. If you were to spend the rest of your life on a desert island and could choose just one person to take with you, would your lover be that person?

If your lover is your soul mate, he or she will be the first person that comes to mind if you were forced to take just one person with you to a desert island. On the other hand, i your lover isn’t even among your top 5 choices for a desert island companion, your relationship is probably a fleeting one.

9. Would you consider him or her one of your best friends?

Is your lover also your best friend? Do you confide in him or her at least as much or more than you confide in anyone else? If you enjoy spending time together – even if you are not being particularly romantic or physical – you likely share a lasting love.

10. Do you ever feel like he or she can read your mind?

Many couples who are very close feel like they can read each other’s minds – almost like they are connected by some invisible communications system. Of course, this type of mind reading usually comes with time and is not always present in newer relationships. Still, if you find the two of you are often on the same wavelength about numerous things, you are likely very compatible in the love department.

Okay, time to tally up your score. How times did you answer “yes” (out of a possible 10)? If you scored more 4-6 on this love compatibility test, you are definitely in love, but you may not be compatible enough to make it long-term. If you scored 7-8, your chances for long-term compatibility are very strong. If you scored 9 or 10, you have absolutely nothing to worry about: your relationship should stand the test of time.

If you are on the heels of a major breakup with your man, you are probably feeling a bit out of sorts emotionally. Or, you may even be feeling downright terrible. All of this is understandable. After all, whether he was your husband or your boyfriend, the ending of a serious romantic relationship can be an very disorienting, painful event in your life.

When you find yourself apart from the one you love after a breakup, you may find yourself asking whether he still cares about you. You may also want to know whether he is dating someone new. In short, what you are really asking yourself is, “How do I know if he still loves me”? This is an understandable question, especially if you are still in love with him.

If you wonder whether he still loves you, here are 5 signs that he might:

1. He asks about you through your friends
If you were married to or dated your man for a long time, it is likely that you share many of the same friends and acquaintances. If you hear now and then through the grapevine that your ex is still asking about how you are doing, that is a strong sign that he is still interested in you and may be in love with you. After all, why would he ask if he didn’t care?

2. He seems awkward or unsure of himself when you speak on the phone or in person
When you do run into your man or occasionally speak with him on the phone, how does he act? Is he fairly calm, mild-mannered, and cool? Or, on the contrary, does he seem just a bit flustered, awkward, and unsure of himself? If he seems to lack confidence or trip up his words now and then when the two of you speak, it may mean his feelings for you still run deep.

3. He tries to flaunt the fact that he is dating someone else
When you or your friends run into your ex, does he make it a point to let you find out that he is dating someone else? If your ex lets it slip that he is now with someone else or is at least pursuing other people, he could be trying to make you feel jealous. Of course, that would mean he still cares.

4. He still asks a lot of detailed questions about your personal life
Does your ex ask you questions that most people would consider too private for casual conversation? For example, does he want to know a lot of details about how you are spending your time, what your near-term plans are, and the like? These types of questions would indicate that you still occupy a starring role in his mind and heart.

5. He has completely pushed you out of his life
By contrast to the first 4 signs that he may still love you, some men choose to express their sadness and longing for their ex girlfriend or wife by completely breaking off all contact with her. Sure, on the surface that doesn’t sound like a very loving thing to do, does it? But, underneath that cold wall of silence might be a warm heart that is still pining for your love.

If you have asked yourself more than once since your breakup, “How do I know if he still loves me?”, you owe it to yourself to find out. If you think that he may still care about you, and if you still are feel loving toward your ex, it may not be too late to make things work again. You do have the power to rekindle your relationship. The first step is to arm yourself with the proper knowledge of how to do it.

Missing your ex? Whether you two were married or just dating, your love was something special. Now, it is over. If you have found yourself thinking about your ex and cannot seem to get that person off of your mind since your breakup, it might be time to try to rekindle the spark.

Here are 5 tips to get your ex to fall back in love with you.

Tip #1: Make Yourself Available: If you are currently dating someone else, you need to end that relationship – even if it is just a casual thing. Even if you never let your ex know you are dating, it will come across in the energy around you. Often, we date new people after a breakup to fill in the void of loneliness that accompany a breakup. Other times, we just may be feeling a bit uncomfortable spending Friday night alone. However, if you are serious about getting your ex to fall back in love with you, clearing your dating schedule should be your first priority. Come clean and focus on what you really want: to get your ex back.

Tip #2: Be Lovable: You are inherently a person with lovable traits: after all, those are what made your ex fall in love with you in the first place. However, this is a good time to really take a look at yourself: are you friendly, but a bit arrogant? Are you helpful but also kind of a know-it-all? We all have character traits that are not entirely appealing. Have a heart-to-heart with a friend or make an appointment with a counselor and find out 1 or 2 traits you need to work on. Make yourself as lovable as possible as a way of preparing to reunite with your past love.

Tip #3: Be Interesting: We all want to date someone who is involved in something new and exciting. If you find that your life is in a bit of a rut, try taking up a new hobby, sport, or other interest. Become knowledgeable about some topic. Or, join an organization within which you can start to build an associate network. Being a bit unpredictable is attractive, especially to your ex who things they know you so well.

Tip #4: Be Interested: When you start speaking or writing to your ex again, make sure to bring the conversation around frequently to what their lives are now about. Remember not to focus too much on yourself or your burning desire to get back together. And, do not assume you know what is going on with them – some time has gone by and there are likely changes in their life. Everyone likes to be the center of attention: make your ex feel that it is all about them, and you will be one big step closer to success.

Tip #5: Start the Dialogue: Once you have had a casual conversation or two with your ex, it is time to start a dialogue about exploring your relationship again. If your ex is currently in another relationship, this complicates things, but it is not necessarily the end of the road. What matters is not whom your ex is dating but rather what is going on in their heart. Be honest with your feelings but avoid getting overly emotional. Let your ex know how you really feel.

Getting your ex to fall back in love with you is not something you can control, since the human heart is free to do as it wishes. However, there are techniques – including those shared above – that can tip the scales strongly in your favor in terms of having your ex back in your life again very soon.

Do you miss the smell of her hair? The way you would talk for hours together about nothing in particular? The way she made you feel? You may still be in love with her.

Sometimes, it is best to forget her and move on. However, there are some cases when you might be able to make your love work again. If you think this may apply to you, here are 4 secrets for getting her love back.

Secret #1: Make sure this is what you really want: Before you really make a go of it, be sure that you believe that getting back together could be the best thing for the both of you. If there are legal reasons why you should not contact her, it is important to heed those. However, just as important as her well-being, you need to be sure that contacting her again will not end up making you worse off emotionally than you are now.

Secret #2: Locate her: Unless she is trying to avoid being contacted, locating your ex should be fairly easy. Just conduct a search via any of the available online people locator engines, many of which are free. Yahoo! PeopleSearch is a good place to start. If that does not yield any promising results, give a paid search service a try.

Secret #3: Contact her and set up a meeting: I strongly recommend contacting your ex at via telephone or e-mail before trying to meet her in person. When you do call or e-mail, ask her if you can set up a time to meet. Be sure to meet in a public place such as a coffee house so that you can both feel completely comfortable and you are forced to keep the conversation light. Upon meeting, bring up for conversation some of the fun or romantic times you have had together. But, be sure to avoid any heavy topics and do not get overly emotional. The key here is your maturity and honesty if you want to have any chances of winning back her love.

Secret #4: Give her some space: After your initial meeting with her, it is important to give her some space. Your meeting may have brought up a lot of mixed emotions in both of you, so it is important to have some time to think things through. The situation is even more complicated if one or both of you are currently in a serious relationship with someone else. Just give her some time and do not pressure her – play it cool and let her come around to the idea of your rekindled love.

Getting back the love of your ex can be one of the best things you could ever do for yourself and for her. Just remember to take it slowly and make all the right moves.